It's Like this

I haven't posted in a while because I've been too busy. I haven't posted in a while because I didn't feel the need too. But, it is really like this. I haven't posted in a while, because I've been too busy and didn't bother to take the time to reflect enough.

It's been over a year since I've been married to Tracie. Things are still wonderful, although we don't see each other enough. We work too much, and then on my days off. I'm too tired and haven't the imagination to do anything I've been dreaming about while working.

Like a few months ago I met Tracie and our friend Holly, after they had visited the MoMa. I had just got off work and didn't really want to see the show being tired and all. But on the way out of my building, perhaps it was back in September?...on the way out of the building someone handed me a card with reasons why you should ask more questions about September 11th, 2001.

It presented all kinds of interesting and scary facts about potential conspiracy theories about how the attacks on the World Trade center and the subsequent destruction, didn't fit into the official story.

Last week, on my Sunday, Monday I found a video online and re-hashed those ideas of conspiracy. Except this time. I see it. It doesn't make sense. I've looked at hours of footage and heard hours of testimony and it appears those building were leveled by explosives. Not the airplanes that flew into them.

So, what does this mean if I believe this? I means I'm frightened. I'm mad. It means I have been living in darkness and hiding from the truth. Which, I guess I have, because every since the attacks, I haven't spent too much time reading the news. I mean back in 2003 I did, but once idiot "won" then election in 2004 again. I pulled out. It seemed hopeless. And now it does again.

But I love life. I love my wife and I try and have fun at my job. It's just this thing that happened in 2001 has always been in the back of my mind. Like an itch. Bothering me. Making me think that something has gone awry.

So what can we do to change this? I need your help.