I looked at this site a few days ago and said to myself, "Uh…woops, it’s blank." And then I turned the computer off, and read a book. Now several days have past and I really have had a lot to think about over the past month and even several days. I figured why not write these thoughts down. Before I forget them, as so frequently happens.
I don't know how many people read my site, and frankly I don't really care (quality over quantity), but I like to use this as what it really is, a journal of sorts. Albeit, one that could succumb to electronic maelstroms and atmospheric interference, but what wouldn't? I mean, if I had a paper journal and I started to write frequently and then some natural disaster came along. The most frequent natural disaster for many of my journals has been me, leaving them somewhere or spilling liquids on them, so why not write my meanderings here. At least someone out there can take a hack at my concept of the world. Maybe?
I digress, or maybe I just meander into meaning. I'll let you sort that out.
The Holidays or Post-Partum Depression?
Christmas. Yea...anyways. You got love your family. No really, you HAVE to, I mean it's written somewhere. Isn't it? (Mom, don't read this as about you if you read this, this is about the whole process more than any particular person. I put this here so that many of you can laugh at me and say yea, right, but I know that my Mom is good at worrying, and this is really nothing to worry about. )
Well, if it's not, I think I'm going somewhere else next year. It's not that I dont love my family, I think it's something else.
I think that family’s actually need a holiday from each other. Next year that is exactly what I'm suggesting and participating in. I think I'll volunteer a few weeks abroad somewhere...maybe Iraq (Peace Corps anyone?).
And its not like the Holidays are an uplifting time anyways. Past 3 years someone close, close to those I love, or someone who just was there for me in some important way has died around this time. First it was my Mother's Mother 2 Christmas's ago, then it was my Dad's and now it was my Great-Step Uncle Bill (and let's just say that like in business, titles don't express the significance of a person Bill was a treasure to us).
And yet, I didn't even get to the funeral this time. My travels over the past few years are still accruing interest as I type, so no dice. And I had already taken the plunge to get more debt (the car) just before the holidays, which exacerbated the tenuousness of my pocketbook's heft.
So, net year, I'm going on strike during the holidays and I'm going to work somewhere else. Screw it. Who needs a vacation? I love seeing everybody, but I also need a break from all of them anyways.
Back to work...
Cynic #1:Yea, and so what of it? Are you changing the world now that you are back for the new year? Well, are you?
Wayne: Well, yea. Sort of. Hey...leave me alone. No really, leave me alone, I mean it.
Cynic#1: Well, how involved are you in your community? What are you doing to change the regime to something worthwhile?
wayne: Well, for starters…this.
Politics. Elections. Ethics (in the same heading are you nuts?)
I read a lot. No I really do. But I finish things slowly. Lately, I've taken to reading short stories. It gives me a sense of accomplishment, and faster than a book. I've had great fun with McSweeney's over the past months, and their publications. In fact I purchased this tome a few months back and received it just prior to the holiday break.
And I started to read that, Howard Zinn's "A People's History..." and got a bit overwhelmed with the seriousness of it all. Everything is already serious enough right? That's why so many of us talk so damn much about movies. The economy is collapsing, our (popularly unelected) President has taken us into a Vietnam'esque war , our World Economy sucks because our laws and governments allowed so few to get so rich so damn quickly, off the sweat of all our backs, and we talk about the latest movie. I guess that qualifies as 'talking politics'.
Then when we do talk politics, so many of us, think we know everything there is to know about every issue, that we ignore what the hell the other is saying and walk away just as pissed and more unlikely to initiate a conversation about politics again.
So, with all of this on my mind and the desire to learn from history, I read. One of my own key failures in life has been not questioning enough and being distracted by too many interests. Lately my interests have centered around three things: history, history of war, and how to win a war (and I don't just mean a multi-nation war either, I mean personal ones as well). So, I’ve read.
Some conclusions have been made, some inclusions observed, and some ideas discussed. Tracie and I talk about what we each read, see and hear, late at night lying in bed. This is one of those great perks of living and sleeping with some one, part of being committed and seeing the multi-faceted benefits of not living an alone life. I live one of those for so long, longing for something I did not understand, and only understand bit by bit each day.
Not only have I read, but I’ve browsed. In my browsing, I came across, of all things, a PBS special biography on Jimmy Carter (I link to Amazon here, but I found it in my local library. He was President when I was 6, so I didn't really know a lot about President Carter. However, since organization's model of Clinton as a poster child for National Service, originally stemmed from stufying President Carter's innate goodwill and actions that he performed following his Presidency with Habitat for Humanity, and how it benefitted that organization. I had an intuition that the more important aspect of the man was what his service embodied, and being an assett to the organization was only a side affect, and for me the video rang this hypothesis true. I need to read more about him soon. I htink it will also help structure my thoguhts on this Presidency and how I can participate more fully. It is never too late.
Libraries are wonderful things, and rather than steal tax dollars from states they are an investment in a state or community, made by tax dollars. Interesting.
Why have I forgetten about libraries? Why do we forget about them? Do we need 4 color ads in the paper to remember they are there? Do they have to have a Starbucks in or next door to make the attractive?
I think one campaign to increase their popularity could be two-fold. Raise your taxes by as much as you spend on Starbucks and Amazon.com a year, and increase your libraries desirability by threefold. A) You can use those tax dollars to build houses for the homeless that stay there during the day. B) You could by at least twice as many books ('cause we all know Amazon and B&N.com mark their books up by 100%) C) You could pay for equitably raised and procured, great tasting coffee, at 1/4 of the price of a cup of Starbucks coffee. And yea, this cup would taste good. D) We could outfit those libraries with internet stations that didn't charge for internet access 1 for every 10 people in the library, and make http://www.vote-smart.org, http://www.thomas.gov, http"//www.thenation.com, http://www.alternet.org, etc. favorites, to make removing terrible leaders that much easier. It could work. And maybe I'll look back at this post someday soon and come up with a real plan. Or maybe one of you will.
I don't know, but I'm glad we talked. Good night.